You get home from a long day at work and turn on the TV. It’s been a long week, so you think to yourself- maybe i’ll take the family to a movie on Saturday. Maybe we’ll even go on a vacation soon! We could visit museums and go to plays and see all sorts of fun attractions.
When you turned the TV on, nothing happened. There are no actors to entertain you.
When you went to the movie theater, nothing was showing. There were no advertisements to tell you that anything was showing, so you went to the theater to find out. Nothing playing. There is no one to film and create movies for you. Well at least your vacation will be fun, right? Not like there will be any plays to see and there won’t be anything in the art museums.
Well at least you have the shack you are living in that you made out of cardboard and sheets.
Not like you could find an architect to build you a house with all the money you’re making as an engineer.
THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME
THERE WOULD BE NO ROAD SIGNS OR INFORMATIONAL BROCHURES
THERE WOULD BE NO GODDAMN KEYS ON YOUR FUCKING LAPTOP
I WOULD PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE BUT WITHOUT GRAPHIC DESIGN HOW WOULD I LEARN TO DO THAT
lol I guess that community college that was completed fairly recently by my dad a county down built itself
I just sent this tweet to NBC.
If these majors are so useless, then who designed the graphic used to announce this on your show?
3 AM and your phone buzzes. you get a text. it reads, “i messed up. i cut.” you let out a heavy sigh and look outside your window to see another tree gone. when will your friend give up his lumberjack ways
i was not expecting this
ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm
i know there are some writers who follow me
I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.
jesus h. christ
I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.
ive learned a lot today omg
i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this
I reblogged this yesterday but I just have to reblogg again for ^
#huge dicks are like communism
can someone please put that on a shirt
Beautiful. Just… beautiful